Emotional Eater

Welcome everyone today to the 1st meeting of Emotional Eaters Anonymous.  We will start today's meeting with a testimonial.

Hello my name is David.  And I am an emotional eater.

The statements above is how I truly feel today.  I deal with stress by eating.  I celebrate victories by eating.  I need to change my pattern before it really catches up me.

I am stepping out my comfort zone with this blog because I need to do something different  to make my weight loss permanent.  Like many others I have lost and gained throughout most of my adult life.

About 15 years ago, I went from 425 lbs to about 235 lbs in 2 years.  In the last 13 years, I gained it all back and more again.

I can't believe I did this to myself again.  I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THIS TO MYSELF AGAIN!!!!!!!!

I need to succeed for my family (present and future).  I need to succeed for myself.  On both sides of my family tree, my grandparents lived to be in their nineties.  I won't make it that long with my current weight.

I want to live.  I want to live.  I want to live.  I want to live a long life of quality.

Anticipation

I weigh myself once a week on Friday morning.

Before the actual weigh in, the previous 7 days flash in your brain.

What did I eat on Sunday?  Monday and Tuesday were good days. I'm glad that I worked out on that day.  Will my cheat meal on Saturday show up on the scale?

I'm sitting on my bed going through my whole week.  Whether it was a good week or a bad week, you don't know if it will be reflected on the scale. 

You remember the week of bad food choices and no work outs, but you lost a few pounds.  You remember the week you busted your butt working out hard and eating right, but you gained a pound.

You ask again what will the scale say.  Ironically my scale does talk.

I place the scale on the floor.

I tap it once with my foot.  It says "ready"

I stand on the scale and stay still for a moment.  Again the questions flash in my brain.

And the scale says.......

Welcome to my Friday morning ritual.

This week my weight stood still at 465.  It's not good news, it's not bad news.  And that's the way I have to see it.  I have to remember that it is a marathon and that I looking to change the rest of my life.

No, I didn't lose weight.  But I didn't lose ground and gain weight.  Tomorrow is another day to fight the good fight.

Typical Workday

During the week, my busy schedule helps me to keep my mind off of food.  I have set up reminders through my computer (Outlook) to remind me when to snack during the day.

I don't leave my meals or snacks for the week to chance.  I plan my meals days at a time.  The less I improvise, the healthier my food choices. 

My typical workday: (all times are approximate)

5:40 am - my alarm goes off

(I wake up very slowly.  I am not a morning person)

6:15 am - protein shake for Breakfast

7:15 am - leave for work

8:40 am - arrive at work in one piece

10:30 am - snack time (nuts, protein bar, or protein shake)

1:00 pm - lunch time (Diet to Go)

4:30 pm - snack time (protein shake, half a sandwich, or Diet to Go)

5:30 pm - leave for home

• during my commute I listen to the radio or to audio books
• For those not familiar with the DC metro traffic, it is one of the worst in the country.  Just about every day, at some point, I will come to a full stop on the highway one or more times.
• My average, one way, commute time is 90 minutes but if an accident happens it can take me 3 hours.

7:00 pm - arrive home

7:30 pm - Dinner (Diet to Go or cooked meal)

11:30 pm - sleep

In my vast amount of free time, I need to fit in exercise that is not too close to dinner or not too close to my bedtime.  Most likely it will have to be right after work.

Wish me luck.

Vacation Eating

For the past week, I have been off from work.  When you're trying to lose a weight, it's a lot easier when you have your regular routine.  I like to plan out my meals and the times I am going to eat, but being away from home for many hours means that I don't have my regular sources of meals handy.

Eating wise, I have done a good job for the most part.  My girlfriend, Benita, has been a big help also.  The meals that we have had together have been nutritious and my portion sizes have been good.  Through Diet to Go, I am starting to get a better grasp on the correct portion sizes for myself.

For me, it's about learning to eat until your satisfied not when your stomach is full.  It's also about learning to not to medicate a bad day with a high calorie junk food meal.

I went to my local gym, Fitness4Less, a couple of times to get the kinks out and get my body ready for the real workouts that will be coming up.  Even though I have lapses in my workout consistency, I am part of the small percentage of people who actully enjoy working out at a gym. 

I have been going to the gym, off and on, for about 25 years.  The trick is to go light on the first few workouts, so that you can move your arms and legs without excruciating pain the following days.  The worst part is that you feel like a weakling compared to your past workouts.

I weighed myself last Thursday (9/16/10) and I have lost 2 more lbs.  Total weight loss 28 lbs (465).

I will be more consistent in writing every few days.  Until next time.

Re-Dedication

Thank you to family and friends for your words of encouragement.

Thank you to Michelle and Michele, of Diet to Go, who gave me the nudge to share my story with others.

I consider September to be the start of my Re-Dedication to making my weightloss a priority in my life.  To make sure that I make the choices that will lead to my success.

Why now.  Why do I need to lose weight:

I don't want my size to dictate what I can and can't do anymore.

• I want to go into a restaurant (theater, a friend's home, a business meeting...) and not worry whether or not I can fit into a chair. Or worry about breaking a chair.
• I want to walk up stairs without my knee hurting.
• I want the ability to walk into any men's store and buy clothes.
• I want to walk down a street without the stares of strangers or the little kid who yells out "You're Fat"
• I want to fly in a airplane without a seat belt extender and the look of terror in the eyes of the person that I sit next to.
• I want to live many healthy years with my girlfriend, who may one day, become my Wife.
• I want to be healthy enough to still have the possibility of having kids or adopting.

 This has been a good week.  I met with Mark, the owner of Evolution Health and Fitness, for an initial meeting.  The gym is close to my job, so I will be able to exericise after work.  I will begin my exercise program in a week.  I have taken off work this week.  I went to a restaurant yesterday and made the healthy choice of grilled salmon and vegetables. 

I weighed myself on Friday and I have lost 5 lbs. Current weight loss 26 lbs (467).

Introduction and Goals

My name is David and I am 44 years old.  I have been heavy most of my life. 

When I was younger it usually didn't bother me because I was athletic and could fit in easily most of the time.  It's strange sometimes the random memories that stick in your brain.  When I was in elementary school, I took great pride in being the fat boy who usually won dodge ball.  As the big kid, you were thought to be an easy target.  It brings a smile to my face just thinking about it.

I was always proud to break any stereotypes about what a big kid could or couldn't do.  In basketball, I didn't want to be the center, I wanted to be the point guard.  So I practiced a lot and became a very good dribbler who could drain a 3 point shot.

Every once in a while I would come across people who wanted to make fun of me, but because I had  friends, I had people who stood up with me or for me.  Of course, being the funny guy was another way to deflect any pain that I would feel.

I am currently using Diet to Go to help me lose weight and to permanently change my eating habits.  I had been searching for something that would help me make a lifestyle change.  With Diet to Go, I believe that I will be able to take the weight off and keep it off. 

In order to achieve my goals: I will need the support of family and friends, I will need to be mentally ready to make the changes, I will need to have a strong enough "WHY" in order to stay on track when I mess up, and I think that Faith will also play a strong part.

Short term goal is to lose 10-12 lbs per month. 

Long term goal is not a specific weight, but to have a 40 inch waist.

I started Diet to Go a few months ago at 493 lbs and a 67 inch waist.  I haven't measured myself lately, but I can tell by my belt that I am making progess.  I usually weigh myself on Friday mornings.  My latest weigh in was on (9/3/10) and I weighed 472 lbs.

I have lost 21 lbs.  Yeaaaahhh!!!!

Beginning the Journey

I am nervous.

Although I am a very friendly person who smiles and laughs a lot, I am very slow to let people in to my private thoughts.  The ups and downs of losing weight will be a personal journey that I share with the world.

I hope my experiences will help someone else start on their own journey to better health.

Here I go. 

4 people, in the whole world, know my true weight (parents, girlfriend, & doctor) because I am embarrassed to say it out loud.  I guess it's one of the ways I protect myself.  If you don't know my weight than you can't hurt me with it.

I start my new weight loss journey at 493 lbs.  When I saw that number on my scale I didn't see 493, I saw 500 lbs.  My mind flashed to those stories you see on the TV news, "today Mr Smith was lifted from his house by forklift and towed to the hospital  in the back of a truck".

I will stop here and hope that I have intrigued you enough to learn more about me and see how I fare in the future.

Thanks,

bigman76